Crookslist for the week of July 20

I copied these from the bulletin board at the Abyss. I made a few spelling corrections.

Brass Knuckles, $10. Hand in Jar, $10. No trades. Call Smitty: you know the number.

Bitchy-Poo had her puppies, so whoever wanted one, come get one. They’re 7 weeks old and fucking adorable. Bring a leash, a blanket and a driver, and buys bowls and puppy food. I mean it, you idiots. Or no one gets a dog! Damn.

House for long term sub-let. Jimmy’s in for 10. His house, $1500/month. Call Jimmy’s wife at Dave’s place.

Are you old? Does technology scare you? Then, you need The Kid. The Kid’s got your discounted newspaper subscription and he wants you to have it. You earned it. You deserve it. It’s a real newspaper, none of this online, internets baloney. The Kid will deliver your paper every day, old school. You pay only once a month. Cash. Customers who pay in advance get regular conversations with The Kid. Subscribe now, before school starts, and be eligible for the grand prize drawing. The winner gets a ticket to The Kid’s 8th grade graduation, plus a fancy dinner with the family. Call the newspaper and tell them you want The Kid. The Kid will take care of you.

Moll Wanted: for regular bank and credit union sneak jobs. Blonde, mid-40s, racked and gammed preferred. Fuck it. Come back, Gertie, it’s just not the same without you.

More next week.